I would say that I was lucky to have more options as to “where to go” when the time came that I needed to go out of our country, the Philippines, to work, to address the financial inadequacy of my family i.e., my parents, brothers and sister. My father was forced to retire early due to retrenchment in their company, which has caused us great insecurity, especially on the aspect of sending my youngest brother to college. Filipinos, regardless of their social and economic status, give very high regard on education and parents would do anything to send their children to school and to support them to get a degree. And when circumstances arise, wherein the parents would not be able to fulfil this task, the next in line would be the eldest child. So, even if I already have my own family, and even if I never planned to work overseas, I could not stand the thought of my brother not being able to finish college and the frustration that my parents would feel. I came from a poor family but I have always been proud of my parents especially my father for all his hard work and total dedication in guiding us to have the opportunity to live a better life. My husband, being eldest himself, knows and understands why I had to decide to work abroad. I had applications for U.K., Middle East, Singapore and Ireland. I prayed so hard for guidance on where I should go and I asked for an advise from one of my mentors, who told me choose Ireland. She said it’s a predominantly Catholic country and people are like Filipinos in terms of hospitality. Indeed, Irish people are generally hospitable. It’s an amazing experience to meet people on the street who would greet you “Good morning!” or would bother ask “How are you?”. Although some are saying it’s just mannerism, but for strangers like us, to be given such attention, is something that would not only make you feel welcome, it’s also be very uplifting that our existence is being recognized. This is only on casual encounter with the Irish people, when you get the chance to spend more time with them, you would feel how interested they are in knowing about you, your family, the reasons that have brought you here, how you are coping particularly being away from our family. I remember meeting an elderly woman in the church, who approached me after the mass and expressed how delighted she was to have some of us Filipinos sing in the choir and the difference it has created because we would sometimes sing one Filipino English song for communion. We talked, she asked the usual questions, and then told me to “Go home to the Philippines, get your self pregnant and comeback here to deliver your baby. If you do that, it will be easier for you to get your family over here.” I was shocked and couldn’t believe her saying that. Of course, I did not do it. Instead, I worked on the requirements to get them through the Harney Visa. Finally, my husband and my daughter arrived here in August 2001. Sometimes, things just can’t happen the way we want them to, no matter how you plan for them. Take for instance, when I was preparing for my family’s accommodation. Initially, we were supposed to share a three (3) bedroom house with two other couples. But, for reason that we never got to know, the landlord backed out, and that was after we have paid the deposit of 2,000 Irish pounds and to make the situation more complicated, that was a week before the arrival of my family. I have never felt so much pressure in my life as that, everybody knows how it is, to look through the paper for ads, to contact and arrange for viewing and the risk of going to places that I am not familiar with. I ended up in a bed sit/studio two days before they arrived, we stayed there for 3 months and moved in the 1 bedroom flat above and up to now we are living there. So, what were the difficulties that we, overseas/migrant families encountered in search for accommodation? 1. unfamiliarity with the place; 2. inavailability of person who could guide us as to the better areas in terms of proximity to our workplace, to schools and other establishments and most importantly the safety; 3. the cost of rent in relation to size, facilities included, the required advance and deposit; 4. some landlords do not want to take children and pregnant women; and the 5. contract-usually minimum of 12 months. EDUCATION OF CHILDREN As I have mentioned earlier, one distinct characteristic of Filipinos is the value we place on education. As early as April my daughter was already listed in Corpus Christi as referred by one nun who is daughter of one of my patients. The principal gladly accommodated me, she and the teachers are all very supportive especially on the aspect of language/ communication. My daughter was 6 years old then, although she finished kindergarten before coming here, her English is no good. She only knows how to recite the alphabet, would answer yes/no inappropriately. The principal in response requested for a language teacher and Michelle attended extra sessions on reading. The teachers exerted extra effort to help the other pupils to cope/adjust to having foreign classmate and likewise for my daughter to integrate better, now, there are 3 other Filipino children in her school…and Michelle’s English I would say is a lot, much, much better, even her Gaelic is good enough. The common comment of Filipino parents whose children are now studying here, is that, they think that the curriculum back home are more challenging while here it is really levelled on the age of the children. Personally, comparing the test papers that my husband sent me when our daughter was in kindergarten, they have already touched the subject on classification of animals being reptiles, mammals, amphibians, etc. they were taught that crawling animals are reptiles; in Mathematics, she had simple integers like 1-2= -1. Don’t ask her now about it she might not remember them anymore, but I have kept her papers. Another thing is that, we have observed that students are not given home works during weekends, back home the more rest days, the more assignments we would have. Of course there are basis/theories/philosophies from which the curriculum are derived, both system has their pros and cons. However, I have observed that students who are trained early to cope with bigger responsibilities tend to cope better with difficulties/pressures in later life, as long as they are also provided with adequate guidance, motivation, and given sufficient explanation as to how tasks are related to their learning objectives or how they would eventually mould them to be better persons/students. FINANCIAL STATUS I was so delighted and relieved when the Irish government finally allowed the dependents to work. The period before that, which was almost 4 years, has been very tough for most Filipino couples. The amount of pressure experienced by the sole bread winner of the family as enormous; trying to make ends meet here and back home; the hardest part was to deal with the psychological, emotional, spiritual impact of the situation on the dependent spouse, more so, if it’s the wife who is working, just like in our case. Several time that we came to a point of arguing, (as in with raised voices, which we never had before), as to the appropriateness of the decision for them to join me here. Looking back at the amount of money that we would have saved or used to help our relations in the Philippines, instead of paying for the high cost of living here, made us wander was it right that we opted to live together here as a family? The biggest turning point in our life as husband and wife was last year when my father-in-law died. Much as we would like to go home together, we couldn’t afford, we don’t have savings, we even owed some people money, because I have just been from maternity leave for 5 months when it happened, which meant that I was only receiving basic pay which is answering our financial needs here and back home. I couldn’t get a loan from the bank because I still have an existing one, which I used to purchase back my father’s passenger vehicle, which he sold to help me pay for my placement fee. With the help of our friends and Fr. Pat, our Chaplain here, we were able to borrow enough money so that my husband could go home and help in some of the expenses. I had to go on annual leave, on which I was so grateful for the support and understanding of my superior who allowed me to take it without much notice. That was the same time when our ward was closed due to cut backs in the budget. At this time, while most of my colleagues are busy applying for work outside Ireland, I was paralysed in some degree, I just continued with our daily life, praying so hard that the “storm” would be over soon. It was so difficult especially without any relatives around and not being able to confide in them over the phone, because I was so afraid that they would worry about us. I would just call them from time to time even for few minutes, ‘coz from hearing their voices, in some way was giving me strength to go on. Our Filipino friends were always keeping in contact, some of them even stayed at home with me, and my kids, whenever they are off from work. Fr. Pat and Sr. Hannah, my former colleague, who is now working in Dundalk, where she came from, would call from time to time. The biggest challenge for me, and my husband, was when he came back, he lost a lot of weight, he was feeling so down and had mixed emotions. He thought, after hearing the whole story behind his father’s death, that if he was there his father could have not died soon, he also feel guilty of not being around when his father needed him, and not being able to give the things that he wanted to give to him because he is not earning. On my part, I felt that somewhat he was blaming me for getting them to join me here, my mistake was to assume/anticipate that once he is here, it will be easy for us to get a job for him…but I was wrong. Now, it’s only a history, reflecting back, I know that God Has His reasons for giving us such a test. My husband has just had his work orientation last Friday, 30th of April and is waiting to be called to start, which is going to be soon. I would like to acknowledge the people, the organizations that have been helping us migrant workers and our families, to deal with problems, issues concerning our work and stay here in Ireland; and to the Irish government, which is now gradually looking into these matters. ends 3rd May 2004 |